Dearest little nug,
As you get older, you'll realize that there are going to be a lot of defining moments in your life. There's the obvious ones, like graduations and weddings; but there are other kinds of moments...more subtle ones, that maybe you won't recognize at first, but they alter your life in a way you couldn't imagine. That's what happened to me around this time 14 years ago...
It was July of 1998. Just having turned 17, I worked at Camp Arrowhead for my summer money and socialization. I'd been going there since I was a kid, and when I was too old too attend, I started working there. I'd had a lot of amazing experiences there...I made amazing summer friends, had my first boyfriends, my first breakups, and even first kisses; my very best and favorite summer memories are all at Camp Arrowhead.
It started out just like every other morning for me. Your Uncle Mike was also a counselor, and we shared bus duties; since he was usually really tired (*cough*hungover*cough*), I handled the morning bus ride, and he handled the afternoons. As our bus started up the huge hill to enter the camp, I had no way of knowing that on the way down that big hill, I'd see the boy that would eventually be my husband (and your Daddy!). I will never forget that moment; I saw him at least 30 minutes before he ever laid eyes on me, since our bus dropped kids off and further descended down the hill to drop off the smallest kids at tot camp. Yet there he was...the new guy, looking lost in a sea of excited elementary school kids, ready to play for the next 8 hours. I watched him while the kids filed off the bus, looking around, having no clue that I spied him from a few hundred feet away. I don't know why I remember that moment so clearly...maybe it's just coincidence, maybe some part of me knew, but I'll never forget it. When I finally made my way up the hill to introduce myself, I had no clue the course of events I was setting in motion. While nothing happened for a couple of months (aside from some innocent flirting and lots of phone conversations), by mid September we were officially a couple.
The last 14 years have been among the best, the worst, the most amazing and scariest of my life. We had ups, downs, ins and outs, but through it all, we knew we wanted to spend our lives together, and I shudder to think what my life might be like if I hadn't been on the bus that day. What if he had decided not to work there? What if I'd taken that week off for vacation? Maybe we would have met the next day, but maybe it all would have happened differently. Sure, maybe I'd be rich and successful and any number of things...but I wouldn't have him...and I wouldn't have you.
After 11 years together, you took our world by storm on December 13, 2009. If we thought we knew love before that day, we were wrong...we had no clue how much we could love another person until you made us a family. Watching you grow into the beautiful little person you've become has been an absolute privilege. I really can't express in words how proud I am of you, to be your Mommy, to get to be a witness to all that you do. You are so beautiful, and so full of life and gumption, I just can't wrap my head around the fact that you came from me. As you're only 2.5, you haven't had many (or maybe any) defining life moments yet...but you're about to have one.
For the last 2.5 years, you and I have had nothing but time. Time to play, time to snuggle, time to learn and grow together; we've had lots of little adventures, you and I. You've taught me what it takes to be a parent, and inspired me to to always try to be the best version of myself; I want you to be as proud of me as your Mother as I am proud of you as my daughter. It's because of you, and how wonderful you are, that we decided to expand our family. You brought so much love into our lives, we thought that giving you a sibling would only bring more. Now that it's getting so close, we are so unbelievably excited to meet your little brother; but part of me feels so sad that our time alone is coming to a close. I just want you to know how much I've loved this time together, just us; and to thank you, in case I forget later, for everything you've given us since you arrived. Thank you for showing us how one little smile can light up our lives, that there's more important things than work or money, and that just when you think you can't love any more, you can.
In the next 3 weeks, if we're lucky and all goes well, a lot is going to change for us. We'll love and welcome another person into our family, and you'll have that defining moment I was talking about. The course of things are going to be a little different for you now with a little sibling around. While we won't be able to travel as freely or have as much extra time for just us, I really think you're going to like your new role as big sister. I really don't know what is in store for you, I've never been a big sister, but I think you'll handle it just fine.
As for me, as we're about to have another big event in our lives together, it's hard for me not to flash back to that moment in 1998 when I saw Daddy the first time. I'll be forever grateful I got on that bus to work that day...the bus ride that changed my life. While all of my defining moments haven't been as wonderful, I can only hope for you that one day, you leave your house, and without you knowing, your life changes in an amazing, unbelievable way.
We love you SO so much little girl...more than I could ever say.
Love forever and always,
Mommy
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