I'm a bit bummed I didn't get to log on at all last week to write, because there is really a lot I wanted to talk about. I thought about recapping all in one post, but instead decided I'd go with my usual, natural flow and if they happen to come up, great, if not, I guess I just didn't seize the carp (5 points to whoever knows what movie that's from).
Obviously, last week in the middle of all our fun, my to-do list and potty training went out the window. I've been thinking a lot about potty training for a while; like I previously mentioned, she's happy to sit on the potty, and will go on it occasionally, but she doesn't seem to have any push to tell me before she has to go. On the advice of those a little more experienced than myself, I decided to wait until the weather is consistently a bit warmer so that we can have her playing outside and be able to "go commando" so we aren't trapped indoors. However, there are some other reasons I decided to wait...
A long time ago (probably a year or more), I mentioned that I liked to keep some of my parenting decisions private because there's always someone out there looking to critique you (or add fuel to the "Mommy wars"). You're doing something too long, you're not doing something else enough, and so on. Just recently, I realized that I was completely willing to share the details of being the child of an addict, but felt afraid of sharing the fact that my daughter has bed shared with us for nearly 2.5 years (silly!). However, since there's a lot going on where that's concerned, I decided to bare it all and deal with the "side eyes" and upturned eyebrows. So here goes: Not ONLY did my little girl bed share until the last few weeks, but she nursed at sleep times until last week. Yup. 2 years, 4 months. I have no intentions of explaining myself- my child is happy, healthy and well, and that's the only justification anyone needs. Breastfeeding doesn't work for everyone, but it was a great experience for me and the nug, and part of me is very sad to see that chapter of our lives close. I do intend to nurse the little man (knock wood), but he'll be a different baby and I know not everything happens the same with each child (maybe he won't latch, maybe he'll hate it, who knows?). Now that you know that, you can see why it might be a bit too much for us to take the nug's diapers away so soon.
The other night, after she was soundly asleep (sans boobie), I started tearing up. I asked the hubs if he thought if we were rushing her to grow up because another baby was coming. I knew there was really no basis for my waterworks- most 2 year olds are well off the boobie and sleeping in their own rooms- but the tearyness persisted. Many people have commented on how "mature" she is for her age or how she acts like a child much older than 2, and I started to wonder if that was a good thing. There are kids her age that are just starting to put a few words together and yet we expect her to say please, thank you and excuse me (and she does, without prompting by us most times). I know, it sounds great, but she's only 2-- I couldn't help but wonder if I'm alienating her from her 2 year old counterparts by expecting things from her that maybe she shouldn't be doing yet. I'm still really unresolved about it; on the one hand, she's only catching up to other kids in terms of sleeping without my help or my snuggles, but on the other I don't know if she can relate to other kids her age. Of course, Mommy guilt is playing a role in this pondering, but I just can't help it-- knock wood/God willing, the little man will be here in about 3 months, and I think this is only the start of my worry for the one and only original nug-a-bug.
Which brings me to panic attack #2- THREE MONTHS??? That sounds like a lot, but lets be real, 3 months ago we were already into January of 2012. Does that seem as insane to you as it does to me?? It feels like I found out I was pregnant and suddenly woke up and was 25 weeks along. I'm not sure if it's because it's a second pregnancy or if because the timing was different (with C I was pregnant all in one year and this guy spent most of first trimester in 2011); whatever the reason, I'm grateful. I don't mind being pregnant: it can be uncomfortable (and I know it's only going to get more uncomfortable), but for the most part, it's been an enjoyable time- and I love feeling him jabbing around in there. It's my inevitable worry that gets me wishing the time away- if I get too much time on my hands, I start reading into every twinge (or lack thereof). So with time rolling along, I'm getting to enjoy the kicks and jabs AND the lack of extra time to worry excessively. Although, I am panicking at the moment, thankfully it's not about his health; we were on a roll getting ready for a bit- we moved C into her big girl room and started doing some bits of shopping (mostly onesies and such), but all in all, his room is untouched, we haven't even begun to look at double strollers/additional car seats, and at some point I need to dig through the garage and multiple storage closets to see if we can piece together the bottles, newborn toys, and all things baby. I know, 3 months really does sound like plenty of time to do all that, but with so much pre-scheduled fun-ness coming up, and the last month really being a waste (at least it was the last time), I'm looking at about 4 weekends of help from the hubs before it's "time." Hopefully, we manage our time well so we aren't scrambling come mid-July.
Speaking of fun-ness, the nug and I are off to "Mammy's" house today with side trip to Smithville for shopping, carousel/train rides and (of course) a yummy nosh. I hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful stretch of weather!
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