Well hello there! Unfortunately, after much trial and error, the hubby and I realized that my attempt at transforming my previous blog into something more appropriate had a few errors we couldn't fix. Without going into a three paragraph description, I'll just say we are trying out a new blog site to see if it fits my needs a little more :)
So having gone through pretty much my entire previous blog site (just for giggles), I realized how much I really enjoyed that little challenge I put on myself last year. I wasn't entirely successful, but the challenge itself was great- being in public forum it forced me to actually TRY to accomplish these things, and helped me to at least attempt a few things I hadn't done before. I enjoyed it so much I've decided that going forward (until little man is here), I am going to start weekly challenges with myself. I'm sure doing as such with a whacked out toddler and baby in the belly sounds a bit overzealous, but really, I think I NEED to do it...
Why? Well, in all honesty I've been feeling a little bit defeated lately. I know I've said before how I thought being a sahm would be this big ball of laughs (and it's not) so I don't need to re-hash that; however, lately, with so many changes and my hubs finding so much personal success, I'm REALLY feeling a need to form some of my own personal success. Now, obviously I'm SUPER psyched for my husband's success, he works his tooshy off, totally deserves it and obviously good for him = good for me (well, I guess that isn't ALWAYS the case but in this instance, it is). I really am so happy for and proud of him- anyone who knew him way back when wouldn't even recognize him anymore, he's grown into such an amazing man (sorry for the mush fest, my hormones have me all gushy and my hubby is a huge source of pride for me, he's so terrific). Yet somehow I feel a little bit like I've become a bystander in the success of my own life and it's a feeling that leaves me bummed and annoyed and any number of icky adjectives. I'm guessing this is a pretty typical side effect of being a stay at home mom. I do think, however, that it's something I CAN fix easily, if I just apply some effort.
I don't think that personal success is mutually exclusive of being a sahm- I don't feel that all sahms get this feeling or that all working moms feel totally fulfilled. I am one of those wacky people that think that happiness is all about balance- if you teeter too far in one direction, something else WILL suffer (a point I think has been proven time and again, in multiple facets of life). It's easy to get caught up in the day to day of laundry, toddler activities (aka spending a good portion of your day avoiding a meltdown), and find yourself doing things like shopping and playground hopping as your extra activities when you're home 7 days a week (and there's nothing wrong with those activities per se). I've decided instead of letting myself become Phil Connors (Bill Murray; Groundhog Day), I'm going to put my money where my mouth is and do something about it.
I've talked endlessly about things I "want" to do. Some of them are sahm/house related, some are personal, but they're all things I excuse away or tell myself I don't have time to do. Feeling as I have lately, I figure it's wholly worth it to make the push to try.
SO, this week I'm going to give it a little whirl! I'm going to start small, with a silly habit I've had my whole life. Almost as long as I can remember, I've been a huge writer of "To do" lists. I have notebooks filled with weeks worth of to do lists- just every day tasks to complete or errands that need running (I'm sure when I was little it was "play with barbies, do homework, talk to mom about Barbie ice cream parlor"). Sounds organized and productive, right? Sure, if you follow them...I have never once referenced my task list once written, and I doubt highly I've ever actually completed a list. My challenge to myself this week? To complete every task on all of my daily lists. Might this alter how I write my lists this week? Sure- but I'm really going to try to make my normal list and stick to it. How this is going to make me feel more personally successful? Like I said before, I don't really think that personal success HAS to be in the form of making money, but in feeling more accomplished. I don't feel accomplished right now because I never seem to be able to complete what I start, or even get started in some instances. So for now, my biggest (small) goal is to be able to complete some every day things.
I'll be back later this week with how it's going! Happy Monday!
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